shit.
i've come to realise, my whole effing life is in a mess. if it's not uncertain, it's bad. every aspect of it seems to be heading in the wrong direction. i swear, it's freaking hard to smile these days. i can't find any reason to smile. i may laugh, but that's just like within that moment. after that, i'm back to the old depressed self..
apparently it seemed i was in control, and had the ability to decide. but there are just like 4370487384624 factors to consider that i think only fate can determine the result. these days, i realise i'm living each day without any purpose too, other than trying to fulfil my bf through working. the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of me are all going haywire. i don't know if i've lost the ability to care, or i just don't give a shit anymore. either way, i know i'm tired. tired from everything. maybe i should have a short getaway huh? a little escapism may prove to be of some use, i hope.
still, i have to sit down and rationalise, hoping that my answers would simply drop from the sky. haha i wish. if only life's answers could be obtained that easily. all i can do now is hope that time would cure my everything (which is extremely naive), or that someone would come to save me from this seemingly bottomless abyss that i'm sinking into with each passing minute.
